Appearing Alive But Dead
Years back, one of my coworkers was always mysteriously absent when work needed to be done, but somehow always showed up when it was time to take credit, giving the illusion of dedication. He really got on my nerves. I have encountered many other people in all walks of life who go through the motions, checking boxes, fulfilling obligations. Their energy is palpably absent– it’s like they are performing a duty rather than living a passion.
And then there are those who radiate warmth, whose actions are infused with love and devotion. They are the ones who leave a lasting impact, who make interactions feel like a gift.
I used to struggle with the pretenders, the ones who wore masks to hide their true intentions. I would sense the dissonance, the lack of authenticity, and it would drain me. I would confront them, call them out, often overextending myself to be a worthy example to prick their conscience to change. But it only led to more exhaustion, more frustration and more draining.
And then I stumbled upon a wisdom from The Good Book that shifted my approach.
“Answer a fool as his stupidity deserves, or he will think he is really smart.”
It wasn’t about condoning their behaviour nor pretending to be someone I’m not. It was about meeting people where they are, without overextending myself. It’s about recognising that everyone has their own journey, their own struggles, and sometimes, it’s not about changing them, but about preserving my own energy.
Now, I navigate these interactions with a newfound sense of awareness. I don’t try to fix or change people; I simply engage with them, matching their energy, their intentions. If someone is coming from a place of obligation, I meet them there, without investing too much of myself. But if someone is speaking from the heart, I’m all in, ready to connect, to unlearn, learn, relearn, to grow.
It’s a delicate balance, one that requires empathy, understanding, and a deep sense of self-awareness. But it’s allowed me to conserve my energy, to focus on the relationships that truly matter, and to appreciate the beauty of authentic connections.
Reflectintrospection
What is your experience? Can’t we all easily see when someone is just going through the motions, lacking passion and love? It’s like they are just checking boxes, no creativity! How does it make us feel when we are on the receiving end of such half-hearted efforts? Don’t we get drained? Why do we then settle for such mediocrity and also treat others that way?
Be reminded that people will always surprise us, and will always challenge us. But it is not about changing them; but about evolving ourselves, becoming more aware, more discerning.
And in doing so, we create space for genuine connections, for meaningful interactions, and for a deeper understanding of the human experience.
Serenity Prayer
Dear Lord,
Grant us the serenity to discern the motives of those we meet,
to match our energy to theirs, and to preserve our own sanity.
Help us navigate with wisdom and awareness,
and to conserve our heart for connections that are genuine and fair. Amen.
