Licence for malfeasance?
As a leader in an organisation, I focused on building strong relationships with my team, often going out of my way to support them. I was empathetic and flexible and helped in any way I could when they shared personal hardships and often intervened on behalf of those who deserved disciplinary action, moved by the personal struggles they had confided in me. But over time, I noticed a troubling shift: productivity among those I was directly responsible for was slipping, while other sectors in the same facility flourished. Also, when these same workers are under different supervisors, I observe a better sense of professionalism.
Digging deeper, I uncovered a painful truth—many of the “emergencies/hardships” were exaggerated or entirely fabricated. My team had begun to exploit my compassion. Even those who were initially working hard relaxed. It was a harsh realisation: my leniency had unintentionally fueled their underperformance. By not enforcing accountability, I had sent the wrong signal that low standards were acceptable.
Introspection
That experience reshaped my understanding of leadership. I learned that what you allow is what you endorse. Compassion must be paired with boundaries. True trust and performance come not just from support, but from clear expectations and consistent follow-through.
Reflection
Indeed, we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate.
Ignore, absorb or live with unacceptable behaviour—then wonder how it became normal. Oh yes, when we let it slide too often, it soon becomes the rule, not the exception.
.Silence is only golden with the wise and emotionally mature—the reckless hears it as approval. Therefore, discern before you decide to be silent.
We promote what we permit because every tolerated wrong becomes the silent rule.
By defining what we are willing to accept, we teach others how to treat us and by extension, we become more mindful and respectful of the boundaries others set for themselves too.
Not all pain is pure—some is performance. Guard your empathy through discerning. Observe patterns silently and decide wisely.
Serenity Prayer
Dear Lord, remind us that kindness without boundaries can quietly destroy the standards You have called us to uphold. Teach us that true compassion does not abandon accountability, but walks hand in hand with wisdom. May we love deeply, but not blindly. May we extend grace, but not at the cost of truth. Shape our hearts to be tender yet discerning, so that our mercy reflects Your justice. Amen.
