One of my mass servers faced a dilemma: attend his robotics class or go to a musical concert. He chose the concert.
The concert promised magic—bright stadium lights, pulsing rhythms, and favorite songs sung with passion. But reality disappointed him. The show started late, and by the time he had to leave, his favorite song hadn’t even been performed.
The next morning, he woke up bitter, lamenting, “I should have gone to robotics.”
Yet hidden in the disappointment was tragicomedy. The night wasn’t empty at all. He spent precious time with his mother and sister. He soaked in the immersive atmosphere of the stadium—the sights, the sounds, the energy. He explored his new smartwatch with childlike wonder. He learnt the value of patience. And coming home early gave him the chance to enjoy a movie evening with me.
In truth, the night was full of highlights—just not the ones he had scripted in his head. But he dismissed them all because one expectation went unmet.
Isn’t that how many of us live? We order jollof rice, eat halfway, then complain we should have chosen fried rice. We forget the jollof was spicy, rich, and nourishing. We forget we were satisfied—until we remembered fried rice existed.
We do this with careers, relationships, faith, parenting, and more. And this attitude often leads us to mistreat/devalue others. Do we ever pause to consider the sacrifices people make to be present in our lives? Instead of growing and evolving with our choices, many of us stagnate and turnaround to play the victim. Why? Because victimhood helps us to avoid accountability. But has anyone ever truly grown by refusing accountability? That is why wise people don’t waste energy trying to convince others to choose them. Because those who need convincing often give little, expect much, and then blame others for their unhappiness. Even worse, they make you believe you are the reason their life feels unfulfilled.
The truth is simple but hard:
– Joy doesn’t come from chasing what we missed—it comes from honouring what we chose.
– Growth doesn’t come from comparing or blaming circumstances—it comes from cultivating, learning, unlearning, and relearning.
– Transformation doesn’t come from wishing—it comes from working.
So, do you value what is in your hands, or do you keep mourning what slipped away? Has it occurred to us that our choice might have been right, but our refusal to grow has made it feel redundant or inconsequential?
Growth begins when we stop outsourcing outrage and start owning responsibility. When we stop comparing and start cultivating. When we say, “Yes, I chose this path—and I will make it fruitful.”
Because regret is cheap. Commitment is costly. And transformation demands that we stop draining joy from the present by worshipping the ghost of the alternative.
So the next time life doesn’t sing your favorite song, remember: maybe it gave you something better—time with family, laughter, discovery, or even a lesson in patience.
The real question is not whether the other option would have been better. The real question is: Will you honour the choice you made enough to grow in it? Or even if the choice was made for you, with nurturing and the right attitude can’t we make the best out of the situation?
🙏 Serenity Prayer
Dear Lord,
Grant us peace and maturity to cultivate the paths we have chosen, and deliver us from the folly of mourning the alternatives we left behind. Amen.
